Friends

 Am I ready to blog about the theme for week 50:  Friends :

 

What is a friend ?  These are some of the definitions, I found on the internet, divided into 4 categories.

A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement.

What is my definition for a friend ? A friend is a person who does not expect anything in return and is always with you when you need them. A person who follows your activities closely without rebuking you too much, is supportive of you most of the times.

And, this is particularly true for all those married people because they do not appreciate these qualities in their spouses.

Do I have friends ? Not many in the first category. A person whom one knows, likes and trusts. It is very difficult to trust people. From the innumerable stories I hear, I just cant fathom how people whom you trust so much end up cheating you, both friends and relatives. The people whom I consider my close friends are people whom I trust completely. Just a few people with whom I have shared my feelings about everything.They are your back bone in life whether you see them everyday or not.  I am a person of very few words. I talk very little. I take a very long time to get used to a person. If and when that chemistry clicks, I become very close to them.  Otherwise, I don’t talk much.

The second category, whom one knows and is an acquaintance. I have thousands of acquaintances and I just wish them and get on with my job. They come into our lives for a particular period of time and after that, they don’t mean much. Many of them drift away while a few of them keep in touch. I have a few of them who wish me on my birthday and don’t keep in touch with me otherwise. I still appreciate them.

The third category of people whom we meet for a cause. I met a couple of people when I went to Kanpur for doing a workshop. I spent 15 days there. One of them, I met on the train to Kanpur. He did not know hindi at all. As the train moved into North India, he needed a translator. And for the next 15 days, he was so close to me, because he needed somebody to help him with the language. The moment we got back to Tamil Nadu, his need for me just evaporated. These are people who fall into this category. People who will make use of you till their needs are met.

Finally, about the virtual friends that I have, who belong to the 4^th category. I don’t chat much and I don’t befriend people so easily on facebook either. There are more than 100 friend requests in my facebook account and I am very choosy about allowing them acces to my space.

About the people in our 52 week group, there were more than 75 in the begining and it has dwindled down now. I don’t think that excepting a few, the others will keep in touch with me. Wishing every one of them the very best in life.

A thought provoking topic, which made me respond immediately. Friends and friendship is the essence of life. The spouse is an example. She has so many friends and my God, I have seen her chat with her friends on and on and on and on... There was one occasion when I did not even understand from where she got the energy to chat through the night!

She always says that I don’t have friends and I don’t know their value.  Maybe. But I am happy with my set of friends.

Happy friendship.